Deep Fried Frenz

Hi kids! Today we're going to make eggrolls from banana skins. Right, what you do is open up a banana, take the skin and dash it on someone's forehead. The natural oils in a person's skin just exfoliates the skin and gives it a natural and nutritious combination of vitamin c and antioxidants - so get the most oiliest and greasiest person you know, throw that skin and make sure you feel that resinous texture in your hand. The oil allows you to get that really high cholesterol flavour but in a much more healthier way. I think it's just absolutely divine.

Now once you have that done, what you need to do is get the banana and chop it up into small pieces and take the peel; this part is VITAL so take heed with what im about to write next. The peel will be used to make the egg whites. That's right, the egg whites. So what you do is, take the peel, throw it in a blender with milk, paint stripper and dulux paint at exactly 20 ml, 1 litre and 10 litres. Blend for 20 minutes until you get this really rich, gelatinous and gorgeous feel to it. Take this amazing mixture into a baking tray and place the banana sking in a circle in the middle of the mixture.

Put this into the oven at gasmark 4 and leave for half an hour until a crispy and crunchy contortion comes out of the oven and there we have our egg roll.

Best served with a bowl of feta cheese and whisky.

Enjoy this sumptious morsel as it's the perfect summer and date food!