Humanoid Erotica

Sometimes some songs can transport you into another world. That world can be anything from nostalgic thoughts of old to just pure random tangent and spiralling imagination. One artist who does that is Fat Jon. This guy can make some really simple but really profound beats - the kind the make you feel all light minded and relaxed. Everytime i listen to some of my favourite Fat Jon songs, I always feel like im staring into a really blue sky filled with the painted whites of clouds, with my back on the grass looking up towards the portrait. You know, whenever you ever get the time to just sit in a park on a sunny spring or summer's day and just look up and feel transported in those clouds that skim on by, not so seperate from them but more a part of them. It's almost like being molded into the background portrait of nature's machinations. Anyways im drifting while writing this, because i feel so spaced out from it. I don't think anyone I know would get what i mean when listening to it, which i suppose makes it more fun in a way - a personal space without interruptions. Hell i wouldn't be surprised if they thought "what, how'd you get there?" just as i would in their own spaces. See, people have their own spaces - some like alot of space, some like little space, some like both at the same time in a most paradoxical way. It really depends on how intimate you're willing to be. Im your in betweener lol. I've never been good at deciding and that's reflected in how I like my personal space - I can never decide between wanting it and not wanting it. Just like everyone, we're always looking for that connection even though we're so used to our own physical and mental space. However, the more I look at it and ponder, the more I look at that black coloured rainbow as i like to call it, the more i think about the frustrations of my own self and inferiority. The more I see people the more inferior i feel. I always want everyone to be equal but i can't even feel equal to anyone else. I love that irony. 

Anyhoo.

Like Leaves In The Wind

Oh yeah, well vexed about SirensSounds being taken down. That was the best post/math rock site on the net. 

Reducing Agent

Man, i remember when i actually enjoyed chemistry. Those were good days, however sad that might sound. I think what i like about chemistry the most is the abstract ideas and theories that people use and come up with using purely mathematical idioms. It's strange, you can be so creative in thinking how things react and bond together or how energy is released or absorbed or what kind of products you get, yet be practical and logical at the same time. In that sense i prefer it to other sciences because of the balance between those two aspects, because it allows you to play around with ideas to see if you can get it right. Besides you get alot of colour in chemistry - one of the best chemical reactions is the flame test (combustion) of Barium metal. That foresty green colour is very beautiful and more fascinating when you hear the theory of how the metal's electons in their electron shells are energised and therefore ascend to a higher electron shell, but are unstable at that higher energy level so they release photons as they descend - i.e. light. The amount of energy released is at certain lightwave lengths and so we can see it as colour (if its within the visible region). The same goes for transition metal complexes, where the splitting of d-orbitals (caused by bonding to ligands i.e. molecules that donate electrons to a central metal atom/ion) causing light to be absorbed by electrons in the lower d-orbital from the split to ascend to the higher level. The light that isn't absorbed is the colour that is seen - i.e. the complementary colour of the lightwave length absorbed is the one seen, so for example if yellow is absorbed the solution will be seen as blue as blue is complementary to yellow.

Chemistry is fascinating like that, as well as the idea of ratios and give and take - which i think should be applied to life too. I believe in balance and I also believe in god giving us signs (similar to how karma works) and us trying to react to those signs (which is kind of why i had the title as Reducing Agent). Recently alot of people have been saying certain actions are a waste of time, which the more and more i think about it the more and more it seems true. To be honest i don't like sitting in cestpools of my own self pity anymore - it drives me nuts and goes against my own principles. So no matter how bad i may feel about it i'll just let it go because at the end of the day, its not worth bringing myself down. There's alot more to do and say man, alot more shizzle. Granted i might feel bad about it but i think im starting to learn how to control myself more. So whatever happens, happens (as Spike says in Cowboy Bepop). So is this a positive post? maybe, im neurotic enough to obsess about things but i think im also calm enough to use rationale. Odd eh?

Ramshackle

..........

I need to prioritise things in my mind and get things sorted out. I'm wasting too much time now. Enough emo shit. 

7beat

Man, i've been on some music sprees recently, like hardcore. Today was a really good haul though i found some cool stuff =D. Such as PHEWWHOO (ridiculous name - i thought soil and pimp was bad enough) who incorporate jazz and math rock elements into their music; its really good stuff. Thats not forgetting Losalios - another jazz/math rock band who do some more energetic stuff. 

Anyhoo, whats on my mind is lethargy. My god, conversing online feels lethargic these days; ever since that saturday its just been lazy talking. Im sure this is one of those random moments that will come and go but its disconcerting to experience something like this. Its almost like being tired of randomness for a while - so much so that i just feel like even talking in general needs a break. I think its staying in doors for long! man i really want to go back into education, i really miss the social life and just the feeling of doing something with my head rather than just basically bumming out. Even the people i normally want to talk to i feel kind of lethargic talking to them, almost like egypt is calling me back again heh. you know, i still haven't lost my tan, i still have it after all this time surprisingly =). 

There's one thing im really, really, really missing. I think having those profound talks about abstract ideas, about art, something beyond myself as a person. Man back in the day i used to talk so much about those ideas, but now its just sort of fizzled out and i can't think of anything useful to discuss on that level. I really want to get that back more than anything, i really want to just talk about things that are beyond myself (i can't iterate it enough). 

Hell i think i'd just talk about chemistry again. 

Musical Scents

I had this brainwave earlier on today. As i was going through the SirenSounds blogspot, i kind of realised that i really wanted to do something similar and promote well established and unknown artists. It's interesting setting up something like that but i think i'd enjoy it, especially as i'd get to write what i wanted about the music i put up. Also, its not under my name so tk and anyone else who wants to upload anything can do so and help distribute along. At the moment though im thinking of asking Mogwai and Soundweave for their links until i can start adding my own stuff up. 

Here's to the life of Musical Scents =D.

peace out.

No, No, No

september 21st - that was the last i wrote something. shit been time eh? :p. well lemme see whats been happening since then. Shabs BBQ! omg wicked night out - we just jammed, played backgammon, charades and generally had extremely jokes shaninigans - the food was well nice + so want some more of those crackers!! Ishy's b-day: another day of meeting up again, but this time with new people. It was kind of interesting to see tk and me going a bit more crazier than usual and actually drawing the rest of the table to look and see what the hell we were on about. The table was split into 2 halves: the crazy half and the quiet half. I went a bit more out of the box than usual that night when I started calling the waiter to come in a picture with us and talking about a monkey in a hawaiian skirt asking for a banana. It was fun, especially since i got to be a bit more crazier than i would be on my own LOL. However, the trip that night wasn't so good. The salvia was alot stronger this time and i didn't even feel the rain even though it was pouring down: it was like a vivid dream that was a bit more stranger than i'd have liked.

There's the park incident last week, which was a nice little jam - hell we even spoke to some random woman who'd seen john mclaughlin in the 70s! I think though, the highlight for me that whole last weekend was when we got back to adz house and i sat down with the acoustic guitar. Man oh man, that was some experience. I'd never felt like that playing the guitar - i really got absorbed into it all. I could hear and acknowledge what people were saying but i didn't really care because i was so in tune with what i was playing. It all came flowing out and i would have carried on the whole night if i didn't get stopped. Its strange because i knew what i was playing didn't sound perfect at all but it was intriguing nonetheless because i got to experience that sensation of just playing for the sake of beyond "imitating a tune" or being stuck in a rigid structure. I managed to see a fire being built and growing as time went on, a bird flying and a newly born bird. Its all random but i enjoyed it alot - i went on for an hour straight and didn't feel like slowing down. After that, nothing else really mattered to me coz i just felt kind of introspective thinking about it and talking beyond words - i didn't even wanna talk much coz i really couldn't be bothered to joke around after that. However my mood kind of soured out a bit as the night wore on. The main reason was what happened whilst lying down - at first it was okay but then it got a bit....strange and beyond my comfort zone. I kind of dragged that sour mood with me the next day too and couldn't really wait to leave because it was strange. I don't mind a small degree of intimacy but there was too much for me straight up. Now i really don't want that intimacy anymore because i feel its too weird for me. Obviously there come repercussions with having that view (which is a repercussion of the action in itself LOL - i guess you can call this the "echoed repercussion") but to be honest it's too much to really take on amicably; especially considering how "that" situation is only starting to resolve itself and then to have that there is sort of like destroying all that i've started to achieve. Maybe my displeasure is the answer to what i really believe (as well as my thoughts at the time when it was occuring and how i wished it were in a different place). 

I really really really wish it didn't happen and i feel kind of strange now. A bit bitter to be honest and angry. fucks sake...