Wednesday, 4 March 2009

Weather The Storm

So I recently downloaded FL studio 8 and have been playing with it ALOT. It's so much fun to make random beats with it mixing in all these random instruments. I can tell if you know how to use it properly you can do some serious musical scents with it :P. So far I've managed to do about a 2-3 second clip but I don't know how to add onto that, but I'm thinking of just getting a tutorial or guide in order to learn it - I'm feeling making some beats and adding on some guitar on top perhaps - i also really want to learn how to do those grand piano sounds I saw on youtube - they look proper hardcore - especially with the sweeping bit - it sounds like a real piano and not synthesised! But I definitely need to learn my music theory now because I don't understand what chord means what or how to move chords an octave higher or lower (im guessing you move a chord 8 notes up if you're using the piano as a base instrument but that's only a guess).

I was on YouTube and I managed to find KQ on youtube - the actual dude! so i commented on one of his vids and he replied back - i feel honoured! I love that guy's stuff, especially his remixes - they always have this weird spacey vibe to them and he does it all on FL! His side projects are slick as well, but really really trippy and cerebral - you can't listen to it expecting a beat, it's just mood music that has this really effect on your mind to just zone out completely. I think his stuff and Fat Jon's serve as sort of inspirations to really get into the whole FL studio flex and start learning it big style for some proper beat tings - you GETS ME!???????

oh big up my mandem Halifax - bare safe tings.

These last few days have been interesting - I went from being so content on sunday (so much so i'd not felt like that in god knows how long) to being pissed off in the same night, sigh it happens. Sometimes I think god is trying to show me something when it comes to these things but I need some time to sit and think about what. It seems to coincedental to be just random.

Anyhoo

I cannot think of anything else to write that will fill the space up for this blog so im just writing whatever I can think of that will make sense.


OOOOO i forgot to mention - Skins is an awesome series - the first 2 series are amazing - the actors are brilliant and it really highlights what teenagers are going through - isolation, love, having fun, finding yourself - although it's a big exaggerated of course and there's alot of sex but it's definitely worth watching. The directing is actually astounding - like there's this one scene where this girl drops the milk carton she's holding and you see it spilling down the stairs and she's trying to call someone but they won't respond because they're crying - just gives you that idea of that proverb about crying over spilt milk but it was done so well.


Sunday, 15 February 2009

A Few Memories

Normally whenever i write a blog entry i have a song title that fits the mood or theme of what i'm writing. In this instance i've decided to just choose the song title that's been on my playlist recently - a song from the 2nd RahXephon OST. This song caught me off surprise because normally animé songs aren't actually that trippy and the reverbed out acoustic guitar compliments the pianos quite gracefully. It actually does give you the feeling that you're going deeper and deeper into a few memories of the past - the gentle piano sound giving delicate touch into memories whilst the guitar giving that touching sense of nostaligia. It's a good track in all honesty but memories is oddly and ironically enough something i've not been thinking too much about. Actually the biggest thing that's been preying upon me is idleness. The more this year passes by, the more i think about the disgust of idleness. Im starting to really see how much of a lazy guy i am! it's kind of scary in that i know what i have to do and start to feel it but don't have the will to actually do it. But I think T-mans right - you think too much when you're idle and I think im thinking too much not just about why i don't have the motivation but also about things in general. What I need is 2 things: first is a job, and second is a routine (which the job will provide, but for other more health related aspects - such as jogging and etc). 

One thing that has been keeping me away from pure bumness is trying to hook the old xbox to this pc. I took it from my bro and basically spent a long time trying to set up a network where the internet could still work yet i could connect my xbox to the pc and transfer files. I have to admit, Vista is a completely crap OS for doing this stuff in since I had trouble looking for ways to making a wired LAN connection. inevitably though I had to use a FTP program to create a session for the xbox but before that had to set up an IP for the xbox that was different to the PC so that they didn't clash (the pc has a dynamic IP and i didn't know how to set a static IP for the xbox so that they didn't clash and disconnect from the internet). However, somehow i managed it so i've got some animés off the pc and onto the xbox for some rather peaceful viewing =D. One thing I noticed though was how the quality of RMVBs improve when you use a CRT tv screen in comparison to the LCD pc screen i was using. Like when i was watching RahXephon on the pc i could see the rather pixelated form that RMVBs usually have, but on the tv screen it was alot less noticeable for one and the colours were actually much better. In fact although there was a difference compared to AVIs, it didn't grant the size difference between the two file formats. All in all though, i've got some animé series to watch + some films.

The most recent series I have seen - after a long animé hiatus - was RahXephon. Man, at first I wasn't that impressed, it was quite slow after the first episode until around episode 10. The first episode had alot going on so you were immediately sucked into this struggle between the two races. After that it was like every episode had a Dolem that had to be fought and so felt rather repititive. However, once episode 10 rolled in the whole structure of each episode seem to change and you got to see the build up of certain relationships (i have to say the love triangles and god knows what other shapes you could use to describe the relationships was next and was decently handled). Then the more artistic side of the story started to pop out. I think one of the highlights was the romance. Normally im not a fan of romance, but i think in this series it was so well handled i was surprised. The shots used to describe it and the facial animations really painted this slow but steadily increasing intense relationship between two of the main protagonists. The actual story though was kind of interesting although one watch through isn't enough to actually give you the whole story and i was still confused about certain aspects until i went online and actually saw the timeline written out for it. once i read that it made a whole lot more sense and made me appreciate it more. If i was going to give it a verdict, it'd have to be:

4/5 - it loses a point for the rather boring first few episodes.

Definitely watch it if you don't mind a bit of a headscrew that doesn't try and be too pretentious about it (although i hate using that word) and good romance.

Peace!

Friday, 30 January 2009

New Sentimentality

I finally managed to pick up two things that I had purchased more than a year ago: Kokoro and Seven Samurai. Maybe this month im feeling the need to actually pick these things up, especially since I left them a long time out of sheer laziness. It's kind of funny how I picked up both of these things almost recently. I remember finishing The Alchemist and thinking I really needed a book that was more contemporary and even post modern in some of it's outlook - Murakami got me on that whole wavelength with Kafka. The surrealism in that book is perhaps it's biggest
 draw - you just get sucked into this world of bizarre occurances and essentially complexities of the human soul: trying to survive but trying to understand and comprehend complex feelings and difficult situations. Murakami isn't overly optimistic yet neither is he overly pessimestic; he just sits in the middle :P.

Kokoro is an interesting read though because you can see a number of things. The first is its impact on Murakami's own writing - Soseki's writing shares themes such as the nature of friendships and relationships as does Murakami but I think Kokoro isn't so gritty about it. That's not a bad thing at all, on the contrary you get both sides of the friendship told. You have the student who remains nameless throughout explaining why he's so intrigued by Sensei (the other main character) and how different he is to what he's been raised up with. Sensei on the other hand plays a very introverted character who retains a sense of mystery about his past and his views on love and life and as a result has fascinated the student. It doesn't read like a "classic" novel; it feels so contemporary that when I imagine the events I see them in present day rather than turn of the 20th century which is roughly when Kokoro was written. 

Secondly, what kind of ideas does the book try and address? like i mentioned the nature of friendship and the perceptions of participants in those friendships. The student is really interested to learn from Sensei and feels that he won't be disappointed by who Sensei really is and as a result wants to find out the truth, whereas Sensei on the otherhand has trouble trusting many people after a fateful event in his life which caused a gradual change in his personality and his outlook on life to become more cynical. He is an isolated man because of lack of trust and the student looks to seek out the answers. Their friendship seems fragile but grows as the novel progresses but you always get the sense that while the two begin establishing a connection, there is a wall between the two which Sensei erects until the climax, fundamentally depicting the isolation we feel in everyday life to other people and how we seek to find a connection that is sustainable and deep enough to mean something to our core. It's rather ironic that Sensei finally let's his wall down completely but finds his own demise in it. The person the student finds the most inspirational is Sensei - who is a character that doesn't hold a "rank" in society, but has his own ideals of life and of love which makes the student more and more intrigued with him and I think that Soseki's portrayal is really a modern outlook on how are parents may assume we should see things in one way because they want it for our benefit but in reality we don't accept it because they do not offer anything that really addresses the heart or "Kokoro" as the book's title is labelled.

Soseki also tries to look at the gap between two generations and how what we want maybe different to what our elders want or think of what we've achieved. It's kind of interesting because the student has a balance of filialness yet disagrees with his parents even though he may not openly admit it out of respect. But it really highlighted how different times have changed during the last century and how that has affected generation gaps that have usually kept rather similar ideologies. 

Soseki also looks at women's place in society and how although at the time they may have "certain roles" he tries to explain that we should look beyond that. I think if we translated that into a more modern context it could be tolerance of not just women but of race too so it's interesting to see a classical novelist trying to look at an idea such as this.

All in all though, it's really worth reading and I was surprised at it. I remember trying to read it a year ago and thinking "what the?!" because I was so used to a fantasy like novel, but if you are open about novel form than it's worth picking up definitely.

Seven Samurai was awesome as well. At first watching it I was kind of like "meh" but the second half really picked things up. It's an interesting look on caste differences between farmers and samurai and how people were "born" into these families. Kikichikoyo was my favourite character by far - his brazen and rough nature was funny but he had a real history as to why he was like that, why he tried to become a samurai and his understanding of the situation better than any of the other samurai because he was a farmer. He makes this really passionate plea about how farmers are miserly and lie but do so because of samurai. It really hit home the sense of oppression that caste systems had and still have on people. One thing Kurosawa is really into is the idea of cycles. Throughout the film he has these shots of the watermill just spinning but it depicts this idea of calmness initially, but you see some of the darker aspects of the idea of cycles. Especially when they farmers are defending the village from bandits and Kikichikoyo grabs this child that is crying with that watermill behind just carrying on spinning whilst the accompanying house is burning down and he is screaming out and crying about how the child was him when he was younger - It contrasted the earlier scene that had the peaceful spin of the watermill by a mile. The ending was really class though: that final shot really highlighted the futility of war; how nothing had changed for the samurais looking to seek a way out of their role and how different the farmers were to the samurais.

A very good film, but you need patience to watch it: clocks in at 207 minutes spread over 2 discs.

On that note, here's that closing scene shot. Peace out!

(Note: this is not the full pic - here's a link to the full thing: http://i39.photobucket.com/albums/e189/drunkenmaster42/SevenSamurai6.jpg)


Monday, 19 January 2009

What Could Be

So im reading Paulo Coelho's "The Alchemist" every night for the past 2 weeks now. At around 2am i'll lumber myself up the stairs, into that bed and turn on the reading lamp on the window sill. The yellowy glow across the room and the bookcase is pretty soothing and sets the mood for quiet and peaceful reading. So I began reading and was surprised - it's not really a tale set to woo you with its descriptive depth with plenty of adjectives describing everything in the environment, instead its more a book that tries to do that for the human soul: the descriptiveness comes from talking about the internal struggle of fulfilling dreams and our journeys through life that may or may not let us fulfil those dreams.

One of things about the book I don't really connect with is the whole idea of "follow your heart and you will get the answers". No doubt that's true to some extent, but I think it kind of forgets everyone else in the world and their actions which may have some effect on you. However, Coelho tries to answer that with the use of "The Desert". I think the desert while is supposed to show the power of nature, its there to show the reality of the world - People are fighting in a war and being naive enough to just follow your heart will get you killed. It's the balance of understanding people and your own heart. I think the book really describes the dichotomy between the heart and minds of people and what makes us so different to other species on this planet. Our rationality dictates we can only proceed in certain ways whereas our heart wants and desires that which may seem improbable or impossible to achieve. You know, I kinda like that idea that it explores, because we as humans try hard to seperate the two and try to find ourselves more rational answers to our lives and then explode out with our hearts without really merging the two too much. I guess that's what passion and professional behaviour is; its interesting nonetheless. 

One of the ideas that i really like is the concept of following the "omens". I believe in the world there are signs that if we look at can lead or direct us. It's all based on perception and some individuals may say that one interpreted thing may be absurd but for some it could be a sign to move in a certain way or do a certain thing. Afterall "everything happens for a reason" and i believe those signs really explain the reason behind why certain things work they do, why lives are lived in certain ways because of certain events. To the more rational part of the human that seems implausible because its not a tangible thing, but sometimes we have to trust that which is beyond our senses.

Anyways, from being rather sceptical about the book, im starting to love it now and see why its very popular. I don't believe following your heart will necessarily show your destiny but i think it'll move you and challenge you in ways you wouldn't think were possible of yourself and i think that alone is worth the trip. The book is really a tale of finding your own personal destiny and finding what is worth it for yourself. In some ways its what Aristotle said about "the golden mean" and having an ultimate purpose in life. I think people's aspirations change throughout their lives, but i think alot of the time thats because they never take the chances that maybe available to them and begin to really doubt they can really achieve their end goals. I do highlight "maybe" because sometimes we don't get those chances. To find ourselves though, that involves taking part in the world and not musing constantly - you need to put practice to the theory before you can drive :P.

If anything, i definitely recommend the book; a bit hard to adjust to if you enjoy more complexy in the writing style and slightly idealistic but enjoyable and engaging nonetheless. Its really like a theological interpretation of Aristotle's Golden Mean to be simple but with more of a religious element to it.

Good book read it :).

Friday, 2 January 2009

Gardenia

Man what a class track. Kyuss was my turning point in finding my own musical tastes. I remember just following whatever was being played on the radio or on my pc, but when i got into kyuss i started branching off into my own tangents and for that kyuss will always be one of my favourite bands - their impact on my taste on music and even my guitar playing is something i feel today :). I remember the first song i heard was Hurricane and i was thinking "DAMN who the hell is this?! this is some seriously class stuff!" so I found And the circus leaves town and just creamed that album completely. Phototrophic's psychedelica with that stellar solo in Spaceship Landing was enough to convince me to start finding my own niche sort of sound. When i say that i don't mean in the "yeah man im different to you lot" more finding a sound that hit the spot :P. Which is what stoner rock does for me :). From Kyuss i've gotten into Colour Haze, Los Natas, Motorpsycho and other bands. From Kyuss I even went onto just explore random different genres.

Anyways, Kyuss are one mofo band :).

PEACE!

Thursday, 1 January 2009

Go To Sleep

Let's put it pretty straightfowardly: I AM MONGED.

Seriously I don't know what to write but I think or more accurately I feel I should write something. There's some things that shouldn't put down though because perhaps sometimes it's quite dangerous to open the casket full of those squeaky webs (not the pure deep stuff, the more periphery things occupying the mind), I don't think im the type to say those things out aloud. I don't like talking about myself in the first place so I don't see the need to talk about myself more. I prefer to hear other people talk and just listen. But let's give it a whirl.

Recently I just really hate socialising in larger groups. The more I see it, the more I feel claustrophobic in some social settings. I'll see all these people talking about all these interesting things and yet I'll just be totally not bothered LOL. In some ways I believe I am socially inept. Even when I do say things I feel I am always patronising even though it's not my intention to be so. It's kind of frustrating but meh when I have music to trip me out it's not so bad. When I get into that completely quiet mood I'll start becoming very angry and aggressive; I won't explode (although sometimes I feel I will) I'll just feel bitter about things; feeling inept, remembering things in the past and trying to make connections to understand why I think I feel inept and then getting angry because im lazy enough to assume that those events have controlled my life in a way instead of doing something about it, just like some of those people who claim depression but aren't really and truly that level of clinical depression. It's one of those reasons behind why I just move away from London; a clean slate, a tabula rasa of sorts.

WOW I am completely paranoid about this aren't I?

OOO speaking of tabula rasas, I was thinking about how John Locke claimed that we are born with a blank slate and just thought maybe that's not true. I think children are born pre-disposed with certain personality types that learn and perceive things in different ways (just as adults do but it's distinct in childhood as well). Locke claims everything we learn through experience and sensory and thats how we develop personalities, but I think children are alot more independent than that - they have more innate perception skills than Locke's assumes. It's how parents say that their baby is "well behaved" or "naughty". Some might argue that even that can be experience based and that babies already experience these things but if genetics can determine predisposition to certain ailments its just as likely and possible that some personality traits are also passed on or adapted onto offspring. Anyways it's all about tabula rasa and innate abilities mixed together - experience and inheritance go hand in hand - they aren't seperate.

Peace.

Wednesday, 17 December 2008

Humanoid Erotica

Sometimes some songs can transport you into another world. That world can be anything from nostalgic thoughts of old to just pure random tangent and spiralling imagination. One artist who does that is Fat Jon. This guy can make some really simple but really profound beats - the kind the make you feel all light minded and relaxed. Everytime i listen to some of my favourite Fat Jon songs, I always feel like im staring into a really blue sky filled with the painted whites of clouds, with my back on the grass looking up towards the portrait. You know, whenever you ever get the time to just sit in a park on a sunny spring or summer's day and just look up and feel transported in those clouds that skim on by, not so seperate from them but more a part of them. It's almost like being molded into the background portrait of nature's machinations. Anyways im drifting while writing this, because i feel so spaced out from it. I don't think anyone I know would get what i mean when listening to it, which i suppose makes it more fun in a way - a personal space without interruptions. Hell i wouldn't be surprised if they thought "what, how'd you get there?" just as i would in their own spaces. See, people have their own spaces - some like alot of space, some like little space, some like both at the same time in a most paradoxical way. It really depends on how intimate you're willing to be. Im your in betweener lol. I've never been good at deciding and that's reflected in how I like my personal space - I can never decide between wanting it and not wanting it. Just like everyone, we're always looking for that connection even though we're so used to our own physical and mental space. However, the more I look at it and ponder, the more I look at that black coloured rainbow as i like to call it, the more i think about the frustrations of my own self and inferiority. The more I see people the more inferior i feel. I always want everyone to be equal but i can't even feel equal to anyone else. I love that irony. 

Anyhoo.