Singing Winds, Crying Beasts

As the letters slowly stroll out of my head, like a lumbered Atlas trying to paint, i sit and consider some things. The first being the book on my lap, looking up at me aimlessly, desiring attention and notice. The second being the whirlwind of Joy from hearing Shakti's live sessions. The violin cascades frantically like gusts of wind dancing in the night, its partner the yellow and unforgiving sand in the deserts. The drums provide the inevitable thunder that is brought to our attention from the ever sharp wind. Vibrations from the guitar pull the sand up into a storm of sound. It's the epic and grand indian style that's intriguing, that's drawing me into the epicentre of it all....a moment of full concentration where you get lost. However sometimes i just phase out into a blank space, a trance the music gets me into - it takes me beyond music and into an empty space. It's not a hollow sense, it's more like just being empty for a while, escaping the hustle bustle around you. It's a form of meditation - but not as potent as something along the lines of Buddhist chanting.

Im enjoying it alot to be honest, i neglected it for a while but really Shakti is one truly magnificent band. I think they are more humble than many of the acts out there, as they have no major popular consensus or hype and so it's really in a niche.

These days it's been alot colder; you can really feel the winter pounding away the leaves from autumn with its cold touch. Usually i'd be crying about the cold, but this year around it's not that bad - maybe i've grown accoustomed to London oddities or im just learning to try and deal with the cold in a more....controlled manner. Sort of like holding onto a balloon without popping it. I think the best day of these cold days was last thursday. It rained like the heavens were crying out and my god it was incredible. I know there's places where heavy rain is almost daily, but that kind of rain was quite nice to have. One thing i love about that rain is the sense of cleansing, physically and metaphorically. People run when there's rain but i just like to sit and enjoy it, being out in the rain is a nice feeling, although it can give you sniffly noses lol. I hope there's more rainy days like that, so i can just place myself in the rain and enjoy it. It's really odd to see people run from rain like it's a shower (no pun intended) of bullets raining (lol again) on you in a war zone.

The idea of the rain just brought me around to another thought; what i really want to do with myself. You know, im still tired of my environment around me and i really need a break out of here. The more i think about it, the more im thinking i should really just pack my bags after these exams and just go abroad for gods knows how long - just do it anonymously and discretely. It'd be the most interesting experience i'd ever undergo - i'd be in an alien environment, completely away from people i know of. Currently i'd welcome that, i really want to just do something completely random and crazy as that to just experience the world from another cultures perspective and be this new person, learn a new language, take on a new identity. Maybe having novel characters to write about is the closest thing to that, but i feel like doing it too. I complain of things not being potent, but that's only because i hinge everything on them or i just don't act upon the words. I thought words were hollow, but you know what, they really aren't. Words can lead to so many places as long as you use them appropiately. They are the empty vassal that you can receive or deliver, that needs to be filled with inspiration or actions or something proving they weren't transparent - having something full.

Just stop complaining. Don't be so hollow to claim that's beyond your control when it's not. These days the idea of a locked fate seems to be fading away into the strange abyss it came from. Right now i feel like i've had a delayed rebellious streak leaking out. What really fucks me over is in that insecurity of inferiority. Im not complaining, just labelling it out more concretely for myself. It's all like a blurred out opaque stained glass window where the inside looks completely different to what you think it looks like.

What about art? well that shakti stuff just spells out culture, one more indulged in spiritual ascension - the crescendoes of instrumental bliss feel like they are raising you upwards into a journey filled with various colours from different backgrounds - black, white, green, red - just vibrant and darker colours intricately blending into a pot of life.

so i'll say peace out folks. sayonara - hehehehe i guess that's where i might head to.