People's Instinctive Travels and the Paths of Rhythm

Right about now I think I am quite disillusioned with myself. In a time where I'm about to leave things just seem so out of place....it's hard to describe it. At home, there are all these plans to renovate the house, with my friends they're all starting to go their own paths as I am going on my own. With that the tangled trees in between our paths just start to get more tangled and greater in number. Deep down I think inside I'm doing this to myself because I am moving away and starting off somewhere else; I'm getting all disillusioned with everything because I'm the wheel in the cog that's getting removed and my place no longer fits properly like it did. For someone who has never really done much for himself (Admittedly and ashamedly out of procrastination and other excuses) it's a big shock to the system. I'm hyping the situation probably and it won't be so bad, but going it alone is such a big change that I can't help worry about these things. See, i'm quite the "stressed eric" and worry and fret and think about things moreso than needed :P. Anyhoo, apologies for this rather depressing post :P.

Water Got No Enemy

Out of all the songs I've been listening to recently, this one has to be the one song that's resonated the most. Maybe that's because of the..er..."time" associated with it, which in hindsight probably does have a big role to play, but to be honest every time I do listen to it I just feel im drifting away slowly into the sunset - like the credits of a massive film called "Life - the end of an era" is rolling and this song is just accompanying those credits with pictures of events in my life. There's something so resolute and positive in this song that it feels like it's high note for the ending. When I think about it though, I reckon it's mostly to do with the ending of an era of me and TK and our free jams - we ended it on a good note and my nostalgic senses have gone into overdrive as a result. That's why I think I keep hearing this song with ending credits - the actors all playing their parts in this film and moving onto their new projects, making different films and getting into new roles, ones you'd never think to see them in.

As well as being positive, it makes me sad at the same time, as nostalgic trips tend to do - in the same way you feel sad if a really good film comes to an end, you also relish the good ending that comes along with it. Still, maybe there's always time for a sequel eh?

Deep Fried Frenz

Hi kids! Today we're going to make eggrolls from banana skins. Right, what you do is open up a banana, take the skin and dash it on someone's forehead. The natural oils in a person's skin just exfoliates the skin and gives it a natural and nutritious combination of vitamin c and antioxidants - so get the most oiliest and greasiest person you know, throw that skin and make sure you feel that resinous texture in your hand. The oil allows you to get that really high cholesterol flavour but in a much more healthier way. I think it's just absolutely divine.

Now once you have that done, what you need to do is get the banana and chop it up into small pieces and take the peel; this part is VITAL so take heed with what im about to write next. The peel will be used to make the egg whites. That's right, the egg whites. So what you do is, take the peel, throw it in a blender with milk, paint stripper and dulux paint at exactly 20 ml, 1 litre and 10 litres. Blend for 20 minutes until you get this really rich, gelatinous and gorgeous feel to it. Take this amazing mixture into a baking tray and place the banana sking in a circle in the middle of the mixture.

Put this into the oven at gasmark 4 and leave for half an hour until a crispy and crunchy contortion comes out of the oven and there we have our egg roll.

Best served with a bowl of feta cheese and whisky.

Enjoy this sumptious morsel as it's the perfect summer and date food!

14 Years: Nostalgia

This is the first time I've written a poem in about 3-4 years and it has to be listened to the Fat Jon track , 14 Years, for the whole bang. Peace!

The quaint sound of a broken record permeates the room,

Its chicago jazz dancing across like a debutante searching for a groom.

The reverberations puncuate my ear, searching

for a cerebral bank of memories

The trigger sets off a forest of sepia toned feeling,

With falling autumn leaves hung in suspense in the eternity of mind.

I walk through my mind's eye and touch the blue and white ceiling

of clouds; my hand caressing their warm innocence inside.

I dive into the rush of calm nostalgia,

Swimming in a rouge ocean of tender

Romantism. I stop and float into the cerulean depths of meloncholy

Drifting to the bottom, looking for the tranquility,

With an anchor weighting for the moment.

A dark bed bursts, body flung up and a whisk of wind!

The scent of the gale generously gliding over

Pulling -- into a kaleidoscope of sound

With the echo coating the apoethetic snow-capped mountains, green vistas and golden deserts.

The cosmic rhythm guides me freely, Inviting me, before the eyes open

And the broken record has started again.

Omni

It's a song by Five Deez, a hip hop group from cincinatti with Fat Jon as the producer (you can hear his sound all over this album). Their actual name stands for the fifth dimension, which according to them is the "dimension where you experience music". Kinda cool eh? Some of their lyrics are pretty deep and interesting when you engage with it, especially one that goes "And times change, like the falling autumn leaves, personalities are cemented in this present state, most people become content, no thoughts of more buildin' off now". You know what? lemme just post that shizzle up:

(When in the world are you going to settle down

and start doing something with yourself?)



[Hook 2X]

I know what you wanna know
(An intellectual, fate offers no hint)

I see what you wanna see

(I think I might like to see you)



[Verse 1]

Now you know the way I wanna be

You see the direction, create the cross sections

Movin' me to places to soak up the lessons

Dried my tears years ago with no question

But you seem better from the back

More space to function with

Motion's not restricted to what I give it

Completely fill your area like liquid

No untouched surface greater than what's less

Than is expected of all men

Projected a few before you elected a few

(Who knew?) I would be the one you had to have

Full body massage with the words of my choice

Sound healin' is produced with the science of man

You should keep your eye on it if you rely on it

Chase whatever makes you wanna change vapor

Understanding consequences

What exactly is this? Who exactly are you?

Are you me enough to know what I know when

You seein' us

I watch it all begin to spin over and over again

But it's never the same I feel

And when I finish the sentence what really remains?

Now I'm boardin' the plane to go exist on another



[Hook 2X]



[Verse 2]

(Close) I haven't been this way with most

Learned aggression, hate, and love too

A lotta what I think is based off my perception

As I travel, it makes sense, movin' me mo'

And times change

Like the fallin' autumn leaves, personalities are cemented

In this present state, most people become content

No thoughts of more, only buildin' off the now but

Then never changes, at least we never see it

We want what will be to be beautiful and just to happen

(But it doesn't work that way)

(It all stays the same at the end of the evenin')

You lay and contemplate sunrise and sundown

Who made the best decisions?

Was it you, somebody you know, or a stranger?

And if anything, what did you learn?

Are you equipped to just weep? (No shame)

Because you know what life is

A collection of seconds that we watch go by

And some times for not and at sometimes for

But all times livin' with a question on ya mind

Pain and freedom, fear and independence

Chances, mind games, war, and only breathin'

Unknown to known facts, insecurities

Confidence, sadness, faith, and what you know now



[Hook 2x]

Afterthought

Whenever I listen to this sort of alternative hip hop I'm always transported to another world. One full of nostalgia, melancholy, happiness and a tranquil calm all in one. It's like trip hop but just more hypnotic because it has this constant rhythm that keeps you drawn in while the accommodating music around it takes you to the other places, all drawing you out in different directions simultaneously but without feeling too straining. I'm just in this really tripped out mood, glossing over my cerebral photobank about the past. Having so much time to yourself to think is really good at first, but as time goes on it kind of wears on you - having only your thoughts and fears about insecurities to occupy your mind can only change your perception of reality and relationships and as a result you tend to shy away, unsure of what to do for things and doubt the potential for the future.

Sigh, ah well good times, bad times eh?

The Groove

These past couple of months have been about re-exploring some of my "old" music and letting how good it is soak in. One of the bands I've been chilling and bopping my head to is Dungen (The Groove in english). It's this strange mix of arabian, jazz and indie with infectious groovy rhythms that you can't help but enjoy. You'll always see me on the train or bus bopping my head to it and just getting into the rhythm, which leads me to my next point. These past few months have been rather uneventful as is a gap year at home (the daily calender seems to fly out of the window), but it's also been a good time for reflection - becoming more easier with myself. Really, one of the biggest epiphany moments was actually a couple of days ago when I was on my way back from China Town and I was jamming to Soil And Pimp Sessions. The more I listened to it, the more it kind of hit me - just be comfortable in my own skin, enjoy my time and stop focusing on what's wrong and get on with things. See, my perspective on things is quite rather strange - it's like a kaleidoscope of negative thoughts brimming in my mind about how people are or how I am in respect to them. Sometimes It's just good to let myself fit into my personality suit and put it on and just walk out and enjoy it. I think alot of kudos goes to Soil and Pimp Sessions because listening to them reminded me of the last time I saw them and I just kind of didn't care about anything and enjoyed the gig fully - jumping around and singing the beats along with the song. I think it's the energy that attracts me to it and gets me positively minded about things.

Because I'm on a gap year doing practically nothing, I've run out of things to say so that's all i'm giving right now :P.

p.s. Michiko To Hatchin is a cool animé, especially the intro song =D

Testosterina

For some really odd reason I've been feeling the whole The Fast And Furious vibes; fast modded cars street racing crazily through public places. I was watching Tokyo Drift and I loved the drift races through cosmopolitan places! It's great, even though highly dangerous :P, but i guess that's what so testerone filled about it. As a result, the latest film in the series had to be watched, and for the most part it was pants. However, there's this race in the middle of the film which was awesome! they definitely need more races rather than chases :P.

So aside from the weird modded cars fascination what else has been happening? well first thing is I GOT INTO MEDICINE =D. Well surprised and chuffed about it man! Let the good times roll =D! Recently I've been just chilling and relaxing it out properly, but i've noticed I'm actually getting tense being at home everyday. Being in a room is starting to get to me a bit - We went to adnaan's house after shb's and tk's b-day shindig at the park and as soon as i walked into adnaan's room i really wanted to leave and just camp outside for the night. In a way I think it's a good thing to have that sense of wanting to go out all the time - It'll start tampering with my procastination modes that I have all the time. I even feel a little bit less lazier =D!

One thing I must do is start excercising - im in such bad shape it's starting to show. So note to self: RUN!

The Friendly Galaxies

I once owned a dough making machine.

it decided to jump out the window and lay some battery eggs

those eggs than transformed into a supercomputer that could hack CIA

this was a big thing in the egg kingdom that was always trying to promote peas

see no peas could be 2 in a pod coz them eggs were bare apartheid and were PROPER racist get me

there are two races of peas. the cooked race and the uncooked race. that were both from planet earth.

the earth that was in the 5th nebula of andromeda and therefore it was our earth's equivalent: kalapapaya

...this dramaticaly effected the ozone layer. the wizards that control the sky turned evil and decided to snow.

this weren't no oridinary snow this was pineapple snow where the muffin man could come and lick the street clean like a bum's heaven: he sure was a clean freak

life was all turning into a big lipstick tomato. it tried to spread its love by doing spellings but failed,

however the elf lords of kokori forest wanted to munch sams chicken so they ordered mr tahir sheikh on a dangerous mission to steal sams from the lipstick tomato rooster that loved playing scrabble after church.

the scabble was just a game to play to put him off hardcore insane interacial sex. this outlet was expressed in picking the words through scrabble...xrated scrabble.

but he couldn't resist the interracial sex between the roosters and the leprechauns....the green fur was just WAYY too sexy for him to keep playing scrabble and so freud argued that he had latent oral tendencies since he liked to lick the soul of the inner toe nail

what the leprechauns didnt realise that they could use banana skins to try and imitate the life in the cosmic worlds of stardust love. they all decided to live under 11 rainbows of silverspoons.

the silverspoons that would give them victory over the morally correct george clooney who owned a poodle, a RJ11 and an xbox 360 which gave him all the cosmic radiation to fight the new supertoilet that was coming to invade the asteroid moon orbiting uranus

i shot the sheriff. with a big shotgun made out of tunisian hair.

but FFS i didn't shoot the deputy, not that i should care

.........and that was the end of soloman grandee..........

enter sandman: HEALL YEAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH send whips of opinion down my back give me moreeee.

kyus: GoooaaaWWDD DAAAAOOYYMMNN SOOOOWAN OVVVOAAAA BIIIAAAYYYYCCCCCCCCHHAA!

TIMES CHANGE LIKE THE FALLING AUTUMN COCONUTS IN JAMAICA BUT IN REALITY JAMAICANS DON'T HAVE AUTUMN COZ THEY GOT BARE PIGEONS IN LEOTARDS RUNNING FOR MAYOR OF THE MISTY MOUNTAIN HOPS WHERE THE EVIL GOLLUM JUST RAMBLED ONNNN

...it was so cold and lonely the rain was tearing me up....

wind.. really hurts my feelings. so i decided to write about it in my amazing blog

the long and agonising descent of the snow sent painful lashings of my past memories of hiding in a banana skin....the macarbre peel....the toxicating stench of sugar and the mars bar that the scottish guy used to make banana mars bar.....OOOHH THE HORROR - if you want a no win no fee claim call 0800 657 1256.

have you had an accident?

The Mask

I just love this song. here's the lyrics:

[CHORUS] 
Have you ever worn the mask one-two one-two, 
M to the A to the S to the K 
Put the mask upon the face just to make the next day, 
Feds be hawkin me 
Jokers be stalking me, 
I walk the streets and camouflage my identity, 
My posse in the Brooklyn wear the mask. 
My crew in the Jersey wear the mask. 
Stick up kids doing boogie woogie wear the mask. 
Yeah everybody wear da mask but how long will it last. 

[CLEF] 
I used to work at Burger King. A king taking orders. 
Punching my clock. Now I'm wanted by the manager. 
Soupin me up sayin "Your a nice worker," 
"How would you like a quarter raise, move up the register" 
"Large in charge, but cha gotta be my spy, 
Come back and tell me who's baggin my fries, 
Getting high on company time." 
Hell no sirree, wrong M.C. 
Why should I be a spy, when you spying me, 
And you see whatcha thought ya saw but never seen. 
Ya missed ya last move, Checkmate! Crown me King, 
Hold my 22 pistol whipped him in his face. 
Hired now I'm fired, sold bud now I'm wired, 
Eyes pitch red but da beat bop my head 
Hit the streets for relief, I bumped into the Feds, 
I got kidnapped they took me to D.C., 
Have me working underground building missiles for World War III. 

[CHORUS] 
M to the A to the S to the K, 
Put the mask up on the face just to make the next day. 
Brothers be gaming, Ladies be claiming. 
I walk the streets and camouflage my identity. 
My posse Uptown wear the mask. 
My crew in the Queens wear the mask. 
Stick up kids with the Tommy Hil wear the mask. 
Yeah everbody wear the mask but how long will it last. 

[LAURYN] 

I thought he was the wonder, and I was stunned by his lips, 
Taking sips sipping Amaretto sour with a twist, 
Shook my hips to the bass line, this joker grabbed my waistline, 
Putting pressure on my spine trying to get L-Boog to wind, 
I backed up off him then caught him with five finger to his face, 
I had to put him in his place, 
This kids invading my space, 
But then I recognized the smile, but I couldn't place the style, 
So many fronts in his mouth, I thought he was the Golden Child, 
Then it hit me that's Tariq from off the street around Grams. 
I haven't seeen him since fifteen, when he got booked for doing scams. 
I tried to walk away but he wouldn't let me leave, 
He ran up quick behind me asking, "Yo what happened to my nigga 
Steve?" 
Steve was like this kid I went with back in Grammar School. 
I chuckled knucklehead I seen him yesterday he's cool, 
He's busted, "so who you checking for now?" 
Probably some intellectual. 
I kept the conversation straight and he kept trying to make it sexual. 
Then his old lady tried to play me waved her hands up in my face, 
Yo I told her check your man cause Bitch you acting out of place. 

[CHORUS] 
M to the A to the S to the K, 
Put the mask up on the face just to make the next day. 
Brothers be frontin, Then they be runnin, 
I walk the streets and camouflage my identity. 
My posse in the Bronx wear the mask
My crew on the hour wear the mask.
Stick up kids rollin' in the Omni wear the mask
Yeah everbody wear the mask but how long will it last. 

[PRAZ] 
3 A.M. in the morning on the Boulevard, 
I'm still at large engaged with my entourage, 
Me and Godfather and a 67 Dodge. 
I stepped out the note to post up my guard 
Searching for my car that was stolen from Scotland Yard. 
My first instinct was to check the chop shop garage. 
As I rung the bell someone tapped me on my back, 
I turned around to look it was a rookie in a mask. 
He said, "I got a itchin' on my trigger, 
Don't move nigga I'm taking you for murder." 
See cops got two faces like two laces on my Reeboks. 
My knees knock as I step back for a claear shot, 
Well did you shoot him? Naw kid I didn't have the balls, 
That's when I realized I'm pumpin'too much Biggie Smalls. 

[CHORUS] 
M to the A to the S to the K, 
Put the mask up on the face just to make the next day. 
Brothers be beafin, Cops be theivin
Brothers be sceamin', And should be teamin'
Jokers be smokin it, And stay broke in it,
B*tches be teasin, Get money sleazin',
N*gga's be creapin', Baby mothers be weapin',
I walk the streets and camouflage my identity. 
My posse in the Haiti wear the mask,
My crew in Jamaica wear the mask 
Stick up kids bumpin Fu-Gee-La wear the mask 
Yeah everbody wear the mask but how long will it 

Guardian Angel

So like im on a wireless keyboard - its revelationssssssssssssssssssssssss!

You know, Juno Reactor is pretty good! after hearing the xavier edit for texholnyse i can't watch that anime without watching the intro song - the whole industrial feel of the anime is all pinpointed by that song - the whole intro feels like it was made for that song. The anime is class - I love the artwork and animation where there's this whole gritty feel to it and there isn't much dialogue in it but you just feel like there's this sense of depression seeping out of the buildings that have been drawn - a sense of oppression and caste divides. I've only seen a few episodes but I do like it - I really want to sink my teeth into it but it's a little hard to follow without much dialogue :P. 

so er yeah wow i saw a pussycat dancing in the twilight looking for answers to a healthy alternative to chicken and chips.

This week has been a real nostalgia trip - a good one at. On tuesday i met up with CZ after around a year and man it felt good in a a platonic way. All those awkward moments and feelings seem to dissipate when we just got down to sitting down and catching up. When I went I thought to myself "maybe these feelings are going to bubble up to the surface - maybe all those memories are going to come back" but once we there they didn't =). However halifax made mention of it and they started coming back so im trying to figure out a way to (as the physicists say) "earth the current". Gotsta see when ze time comes and we be hustlin and hustlinnnnnz

safe i dunno what else to write coz im bare hypers and on a roll on my halo of desireeeeeee but i think i might see cloud 9 on a 6 that looks like a 5.

Park Bench People

There are those times when you just feel like you need to sit on a park bench and think things through - somewhere neutral without anything to immediately affect anything you want to do. Right now is one of those moments - you see right now i feel like that about alot of things. Talking to my bro was kind of enlightening about how i should really start to think about the future more seriously - how do i want my kids to turn out? what i value most is a set of moral principles and a self-confidence that won't hinder them like it's hindered me. Where do i want to be after 5 years? in all honesty - working and starting to actually have a career in focus and the wheel works actually moving. 

Another thing that i'm thinking of is something that's just been bugging me recently...right now i don't feel like talking the same way anymore....in a weird way though it's made me see things that i didn't put much effort into before - weird eh? i hope it fixes and i hope to do something about it. 

On a more lighter note I had the best jam i've ever had with anyone - me and shuaib and then me and adz with the changing members playing drums and me on the guitar. I actually got so into it i was getting into a trance feel - everything felt like it was connecting. I even got to the stage where i felt like i was in the woods and just feeling like i was at peace - the closest sensation to the feeling was like the salvia trip only not so forceful - it felt like a pure natural high. I need to do that again because man those types of feelings are the ones you want to hold onto....it's weird after not playing guitar for a while i went and had an amazing jam - almost as if i'd be penting up alot of stuff in order to get what i wanted out across finally. Hell i was so tranced out i didn't even realise adz sister walk in! and neither did adz - we got so into it....im glad we finally had a moment like that you know. sometimes we find it hard to talk to each other - one or the other will keep it kosher but this felt like a moment where we dropped all the boundaries and just talked like we hadn't talked in a long time. I even felt lighter talking to adz afterwards and the same goes for shuaib....im glad we all jammed together it was a nice feeling =).

Peace =)

Weather The Storm

So I recently downloaded FL studio 8 and have been playing with it ALOT. It's so much fun to make random beats with it mixing in all these random instruments. I can tell if you know how to use it properly you can do some serious musical scents with it :P. So far I've managed to do about a 2-3 second clip but I don't know how to add onto that, but I'm thinking of just getting a tutorial or guide in order to learn it - I'm feeling making some beats and adding on some guitar on top perhaps - i also really want to learn how to do those grand piano sounds I saw on youtube - they look proper hardcore - especially with the sweeping bit - it sounds like a real piano and not synthesised! But I definitely need to learn my music theory now because I don't understand what chord means what or how to move chords an octave higher or lower (im guessing you move a chord 8 notes up if you're using the piano as a base instrument but that's only a guess).

I was on YouTube and I managed to find KQ on youtube - the actual dude! so i commented on one of his vids and he replied back - i feel honoured! I love that guy's stuff, especially his remixes - they always have this weird spacey vibe to them and he does it all on FL! His side projects are slick as well, but really really trippy and cerebral - you can't listen to it expecting a beat, it's just mood music that has this really effect on your mind to just zone out completely. I think his stuff and Fat Jon's serve as sort of inspirations to really get into the whole FL studio flex and start learning it big style for some proper beat tings - you GETS ME!???????

oh big up my mandem Halifax - bare safe tings.

These last few days have been interesting - I went from being so content on sunday (so much so i'd not felt like that in god knows how long) to being pissed off in the same night, sigh it happens. Sometimes I think god is trying to show me something when it comes to these things but I need some time to sit and think about what. It seems to coincedental to be just random.

Anyhoo

I cannot think of anything else to write that will fill the space up for this blog so im just writing whatever I can think of that will make sense.

OOOOO i forgot to mention - Skins is an awesome series - the first 2 series are amazing - the actors are brilliant and it really highlights what teenagers are going through - isolation, love, having fun, finding yourself - although it's a big exaggerated of course and there's alot of sex but it's definitely worth watching. The directing is actually astounding - like there's this one scene where this girl drops the milk carton she's holding and you see it spilling down the stairs and she's trying to call someone but they won't respond because they're crying - just gives you that idea of that proverb about crying over spilt milk but it was done so well.

A Few Memories

Normally whenever i write a blog entry i have a song title that fits the mood or theme of what i'm writing. In this instance i've decided to just choose the song title that's been on my playlist recently - a song from the 2nd RahXephon OST. This song caught me off surprise because normally animé songs aren't actually that trippy and the reverbed out acoustic guitar compliments the pianos quite gracefully. It actually does give you the feeling that you're going deeper and deeper into a few memories of the past - the gentle piano sound giving delicate touch into memories whilst the guitar giving that touching sense of nostaligia. It's a good track in all honesty but memories is oddly and ironically enough something i've not been thinking too much about. Actually the biggest thing that's been preying upon me is idleness. The more this year passes by, the more i think about the disgust of idleness. Im starting to really see how much of a lazy guy i am! it's kind of scary in that i know what i have to do and start to feel it but don't have the will to actually do it. But I think T-mans right - you think too much when you're idle and I think im thinking too much not just about why i don't have the motivation but also about things in general. What I need is 2 things: first is a job, and second is a routine (which the job will provide, but for other more health related aspects - such as jogging and etc). 

One thing that has been keeping me away from pure bumness is trying to hook the old xbox to this pc. I took it from my bro and basically spent a long time trying to set up a network where the internet could still work yet i could connect my xbox to the pc and transfer files. I have to admit, Vista is a completely crap OS for doing this stuff in since I had trouble looking for ways to making a wired LAN connection. inevitably though I had to use a FTP program to create a session for the xbox but before that had to set up an IP for the xbox that was different to the PC so that they didn't clash (the pc has a dynamic IP and i didn't know how to set a static IP for the xbox so that they didn't clash and disconnect from the internet). However, somehow i managed it so i've got some animés off the pc and onto the xbox for some rather peaceful viewing =D. One thing I noticed though was how the quality of RMVBs improve when you use a CRT tv screen in comparison to the LCD pc screen i was using. Like when i was watching RahXephon on the pc i could see the rather pixelated form that RMVBs usually have, but on the tv screen it was alot less noticeable for one and the colours were actually much better. In fact although there was a difference compared to AVIs, it didn't grant the size difference between the two file formats. All in all though, i've got some animé series to watch + some films.

The most recent series I have seen - after a long animé hiatus - was RahXephon. Man, at first I wasn't that impressed, it was quite slow after the first episode until around episode 10. The first episode had alot going on so you were immediately sucked into this struggle between the two races. After that it was like every episode had a Dolem that had to be fought and so felt rather repititive. However, once episode 10 rolled in the whole structure of each episode seem to change and you got to see the build up of certain relationships (i have to say the love triangles and god knows what other shapes you could use to describe the relationships was next and was decently handled). Then the more artistic side of the story started to pop out. I think one of the highlights was the romance. Normally im not a fan of romance, but i think in this series it was so well handled i was surprised. The shots used to describe it and the facial animations really painted this slow but steadily increasing intense relationship between two of the main protagonists. The actual story though was kind of interesting although one watch through isn't enough to actually give you the whole story and i was still confused about certain aspects until i went online and actually saw the timeline written out for it. once i read that it made a whole lot more sense and made me appreciate it more. If i was going to give it a verdict, it'd have to be:

4/5 - it loses a point for the rather boring first few episodes.

Definitely watch it if you don't mind a bit of a headscrew that doesn't try and be too pretentious about it (although i hate using that word) and good romance.

Peace!

New Sentimentality

I finally managed to pick up two things that I had purchased more than a year ago: Kokoro and Seven Samurai. Maybe this month im feeling the need to actually pick these things up, especially since I left them a long time out of sheer laziness. It's kind of funny how I picked up both of these things almost recently. I remember finishing The Alchemist and thinking I really needed a book that was more contemporary and even post modern in some of it's outlook - Murakami got me on that whole wavelength with Kafka. The surrealism in that book is perhaps it's biggest
 draw - you just get sucked into this world of bizarre occurances and essentially complexities of the human soul: trying to survive but trying to understand and comprehend complex feelings and difficult situations. Murakami isn't overly optimistic yet neither is he overly pessimestic; he just sits in the middle :P.

Kokoro is an interesting read though because you can see a number of things. The first is its impact on Murakami's own writing - Soseki's writing shares themes such as the nature of friendships and relationships as does Murakami but I think Kokoro isn't so gritty about it. That's not a bad thing at all, on the contrary you get both sides of the friendship told. You have the student who remains nameless throughout explaining why he's so intrigued by Sensei (the other main character) and how different he is to what he's been raised up with. Sensei on the other hand plays a very introverted character who retains a sense of mystery about his past and his views on love and life and as a result has fascinated the student. It doesn't read like a "classic" novel; it feels so contemporary that when I imagine the events I see them in present day rather than turn of the 20th century which is roughly when Kokoro was written. 

Secondly, what kind of ideas does the book try and address? like i mentioned the nature of friendship and the perceptions of participants in those friendships. The student is really interested to learn from Sensei and feels that he won't be disappointed by who Sensei really is and as a result wants to find out the truth, whereas Sensei on the otherhand has trouble trusting many people after a fateful event in his life which caused a gradual change in his personality and his outlook on life to become more cynical. He is an isolated man because of lack of trust and the student looks to seek out the answers. Their friendship seems fragile but grows as the novel progresses but you always get the sense that while the two begin establishing a connection, there is a wall between the two which Sensei erects until the climax, fundamentally depicting the isolation we feel in everyday life to other people and how we seek to find a connection that is sustainable and deep enough to mean something to our core. It's rather ironic that Sensei finally let's his wall down completely but finds his own demise in it. The person the student finds the most inspirational is Sensei - who is a character that doesn't hold a "rank" in society, but has his own ideals of life and of love which makes the student more and more intrigued with him and I think that Soseki's portrayal is really a modern outlook on how are parents may assume we should see things in one way because they want it for our benefit but in reality we don't accept it because they do not offer anything that really addresses the heart or "Kokoro" as the book's title is labelled.

Soseki also tries to look at the gap between two generations and how what we want maybe different to what our elders want or think of what we've achieved. It's kind of interesting because the student has a balance of filialness yet disagrees with his parents even though he may not openly admit it out of respect. But it really highlighted how different times have changed during the last century and how that has affected generation gaps that have usually kept rather similar ideologies. 

Soseki also looks at women's place in society and how although at the time they may have "certain roles" he tries to explain that we should look beyond that. I think if we translated that into a more modern context it could be tolerance of not just women but of race too so it's interesting to see a classical novelist trying to look at an idea such as this.

All in all though, it's really worth reading and I was surprised at it. I remember trying to read it a year ago and thinking "what the?!" because I was so used to a fantasy like novel, but if you are open about novel form than it's worth picking up definitely.

Seven Samurai was awesome as well. At first watching it I was kind of like "meh" but the second half really picked things up. It's an interesting look on caste differences between farmers and samurai and how people were "born" into these families. Kikichikoyo was my favourite character by far - his brazen and rough nature was funny but he had a real history as to why he was like that, why he tried to become a samurai and his understanding of the situation better than any of the other samurai because he was a farmer. He makes this really passionate plea about how farmers are miserly and lie but do so because of samurai. It really hit home the sense of oppression that caste systems had and still have on people. One thing Kurosawa is really into is the idea of cycles. Throughout the film he has these shots of the watermill just spinning but it depicts this idea of calmness initially, but you see some of the darker aspects of the idea of cycles. Especially when they farmers are defending the village from bandits and Kikichikoyo grabs this child that is crying with that watermill behind just carrying on spinning whilst the accompanying house is burning down and he is screaming out and crying about how the child was him when he was younger - It contrasted the earlier scene that had the peaceful spin of the watermill by a mile. The ending was really class though: that final shot really highlighted the futility of war; how nothing had changed for the samurais looking to seek a way out of their role and how different the farmers were to the samurais.

A very good film, but you need patience to watch it: clocks in at 207 minutes spread over 2 discs.

On that note, here's that closing scene shot. Peace out!

(Note: this is not the full pic - here's a link to the full thing: http://i39.photobucket.com/albums/e189/drunkenmaster42/SevenSamurai6.jpg)

What Could Be

So im reading Paulo Coelho's "The Alchemist" every night for the past 2 weeks now. At around 2am i'll lumber myself up the stairs, into that bed and turn on the reading lamp on the window sill. The yellowy glow across the room and the bookcase is pretty soothing and sets the mood for quiet and peaceful reading. So I began reading and was surprised - it's not really a tale set to woo you with its descriptive depth with plenty of adjectives describing everything in the environment, instead its more a book that tries to do that for the human soul: the descriptiveness comes from talking about the internal struggle of fulfilling dreams and our journeys through life that may or may not let us fulfil those dreams.

One of things about the book I don't really connect with is the whole idea of "follow your heart and you will get the answers". No doubt that's true to some extent, but I think it kind of forgets everyone else in the world and their actions which may have some effect on you. However, Coelho tries to answer that with the use of "The Desert". I think the desert while is supposed to show the power of nature, its there to show the reality of the world - People are fighting in a war and being naive enough to just follow your heart will get you killed. It's the balance of understanding people and your own heart. I think the book really describes the dichotomy between the heart and minds of people and what makes us so different to other species on this planet. Our rationality dictates we can only proceed in certain ways whereas our heart wants and desires that which may seem improbable or impossible to achieve. You know, I kinda like that idea that it explores, because we as humans try hard to seperate the two and try to find ourselves more rational answers to our lives and then explode out with our hearts without really merging the two too much. I guess that's what passion and professional behaviour is; its interesting nonetheless. 

One of the ideas that i really like is the concept of following the "omens". I believe in the world there are signs that if we look at can lead or direct us. It's all based on perception and some individuals may say that one interpreted thing may be absurd but for some it could be a sign to move in a certain way or do a certain thing. Afterall "everything happens for a reason" and i believe those signs really explain the reason behind why certain things work they do, why lives are lived in certain ways because of certain events. To the more rational part of the human that seems implausible because its not a tangible thing, but sometimes we have to trust that which is beyond our senses.

Anyways, from being rather sceptical about the book, im starting to love it now and see why its very popular. I don't believe following your heart will necessarily show your destiny but i think it'll move you and challenge you in ways you wouldn't think were possible of yourself and i think that alone is worth the trip. The book is really a tale of finding your own personal destiny and finding what is worth it for yourself. In some ways its what Aristotle said about "the golden mean" and having an ultimate purpose in life. I think people's aspirations change throughout their lives, but i think alot of the time thats because they never take the chances that maybe available to them and begin to really doubt they can really achieve their end goals. I do highlight "maybe" because sometimes we don't get those chances. To find ourselves though, that involves taking part in the world and not musing constantly - you need to put practice to the theory before you can drive :P.

If anything, i definitely recommend the book; a bit hard to adjust to if you enjoy more complexy in the writing style and slightly idealistic but enjoyable and engaging nonetheless. Its really like a theological interpretation of Aristotle's Golden Mean to be simple but with more of a religious element to it.

Good book read it :).

Gardenia

Man what a class track. Kyuss was my turning point in finding my own musical tastes. I remember just following whatever was being played on the radio or on my pc, but when i got into kyuss i started branching off into my own tangents and for that kyuss will always be one of my favourite bands - their impact on my taste on music and even my guitar playing is something i feel today :). I remember the first song i heard was Hurricane and i was thinking "DAMN who the hell is this?! this is some seriously class stuff!" so I found And the circus leaves town and just creamed that album completely. Phototrophic's psychedelica with that stellar solo in Spaceship Landing was enough to convince me to start finding my own niche sort of sound. When i say that i don't mean in the "yeah man im different to you lot" more finding a sound that hit the spot :P. Which is what stoner rock does for me :). From Kyuss i've gotten into Colour Haze, Los Natas, Motorpsycho and other bands. From Kyuss I even went onto just explore random different genres.

Anyways, Kyuss are one mofo band :).

PEACE!

Go To Sleep

Let's put it pretty straightfowardly: I AM MONGED.

Seriously I don't know what to write but I think or more accurately I feel I should write something. There's some things that shouldn't put down though because perhaps sometimes it's quite dangerous to open the casket full of those squeaky webs (not the pure deep stuff, the more periphery things occupying the mind), I don't think im the type to say those things out aloud. I don't like talking about myself in the first place so I don't see the need to talk about myself more. I prefer to hear other people talk and just listen. But let's give it a whirl.

Recently I just really hate socialising in larger groups. The more I see it, the more I feel claustrophobic in some social settings. I'll see all these people talking about all these interesting things and yet I'll just be totally not bothered LOL. In some ways I believe I am socially inept. Even when I do say things I feel I am always patronising even though it's not my intention to be so. It's kind of frustrating but meh when I have music to trip me out it's not so bad. When I get into that completely quiet mood I'll start becoming very angry and aggressive; I won't explode (although sometimes I feel I will) I'll just feel bitter about things; feeling inept, remembering things in the past and trying to make connections to understand why I think I feel inept and then getting angry because im lazy enough to assume that those events have controlled my life in a way instead of doing something about it, just like some of those people who claim depression but aren't really and truly that level of clinical depression. It's one of those reasons behind why I just move away from London; a clean slate, a tabula rasa of sorts.

WOW I am completely paranoid about this aren't I?

OOO speaking of tabula rasas, I was thinking about how John Locke claimed that we are born with a blank slate and just thought maybe that's not true. I think children are born pre-disposed with certain personality types that learn and perceive things in different ways (just as adults do but it's distinct in childhood as well). Locke claims everything we learn through experience and sensory and thats how we develop personalities, but I think children are alot more independent than that - they have more innate perception skills than Locke's assumes. It's how parents say that their baby is "well behaved" or "naughty". Some might argue that even that can be experience based and that babies already experience these things but if genetics can determine predisposition to certain ailments its just as likely and possible that some personality traits are also passed on or adapted onto offspring. Anyways it's all about tabula rasa and innate abilities mixed together - experience and inheritance go hand in hand - they aren't seperate.

Peace.