Session 061003

Well howdy folks! here's chuck saying "goodie poodie day to you!! i was wondering when you'd buy my new album called fist full of steel - REALLLL COUNTRY FOLK BLUES YESSSIIRREEEEE! PURE ALABAMA WARES HERE, NO SHANNINIGANS, NO SIIRRREEEE!"

Im excited: i have Birdman's guitar for a while, with this amazing effects pedal. With it i can create some really and truly spaced out sounds. But it wasn't that that made me feel excited, more to do with the acoustic "session" i had afterwards that was intriguing. it felt like one of the loosest moments i've played on a guitar. even though i was using what i already knew, it felt different because my rhythm hand started to strum outside the usual box that's there, and it felt good and bad at the same time. I say that because all these thoughts came into my mind - mostly about CZ, but then they transformed into colours slowly....i was going from yellow to blue to orange on the guitar. it's really weird but thinking about that made my rhythm come out a little better than normal. Now i really want to do that with the electric because holding that guitar makes me feel the urge to play on and on. Putting on reverb, delays and the rest makes it seems escapist - like some form of magic which is meditative as well. It's bizarre but i really enjoy it, or im starting to enjoy it.

The one thing i really despise about the summer holidays is those days which are wasted on doing nothing apart from looking at the computer screen. Now im just gonna go out and about
walk around london for a bit because it's getting ridiculous. I can't run around, so i may as well walk all around London, and explore it. Im feeling crazy enough to walk from my house to central london and just enjoy the change in scenery. Maybe i might walk to someone's house who lives far off. I love being in central London, there's always this feeling of hustle and bustle - it's always full of life. Im starting to appreciate being in London alot more because of the cultural side of things - like the arts and gigs. Hell that's an idea: the tate modern! maybe i might walk it there....who knows, but for now i really want to just get out and enjoy it because it'll help clear my thoughts about certain things as well as looking for new epiphanies about guitar playing, or just in general. I've always wanted to just walk around London randomly so why not now? there's so much time to do these things.

One thing i'd be interested to see is that change in the sky. One image I love is of those skies with the really big puffy white clouds sneaking past the blue canvas, with lots of trees on the ground - like that around a stream of water, where i'm the size of an insect looking up at the sky and the stream. There's this miyazaki feel to it; where everything feels like it's being painted and there's this sense of idealism in the air - it's positively palpable and you can grab it and treasure it in your mind. That sense of wonder and excitement that you often see in Miyazaki films - especially in Spirited Away. Thats another reason why i love Miyazaki's films - they always have this sense of wonder and charm to them - none more so than Spirited Away in my opinion. There's something really heartfelt in the imagery of that film. It really does feel like a summer film, where everything seems harmonious yet hectic. The idea of no real evil in the film just makes it feel really harmonious and all credit to Miyazaki-san because of the way he weaves the story into this velvety fabric of positivity. It makes you appreciate lots of things - the trees, the earth, those that are neglected like No-Face, you're own sense of self and growth, maintaining balance in your life, being harmonious and peaceful with others and just in general good will. I can't explain how much i love that film, i knew as soon as i saw the box there was something really magical about it. I wish there'll be another animation like that again. I can't imagine something like in real life because there would be something like an imitation of positivity contained within the frames of the animation. With Miyazaki's images i think one song that captivates that feeling of summer (aside from Joe Hisaishi's brilliant score for spirited away that does it right) is The Mahavishnu Orchestra's A Lotus On Irish Streams; there's something so....peaceful and right about it. It's what got me going on the idea of a summer's day and that image that i have of it. There's something really evocative about it - it makes you feel like a Lotus on a stream; something so poignant and delicate in the way the strings are hit. It goes beyond words....it's just ethereal the way it brings about that image. I've never heard a song that instantly paints the image that it sets out to do the way that song does. Its songs like that, that make me feel Mclaughlin is a genius on that guitar and that it's not for show but it's actually there to really paint these lush images in your mind. You feel like losing yourself in that image because it evokes that goodness.

Yeah i guess that's it at the moment. I can't think of much else to say because half of it would need something more than words to actually communicate it across. That's okay though, because it's been interesting to just talk about spirited away alone - rekindling that magic is nostalgic (something i've been feeling alot of recently) and harkens back to days where i just discovered Miyazaki.

Peace.

The Fire In My Head

Yesterday was my bro's graduation - i thought it'd be a lengthy process, with 100s upon 100s of students coming up to receive their certificates and i was right :P. However it wasn't too bad since it was funny seeing my bro in a graduation gown and looking scholarly. In any case, it was nice to see that, good family event really - one where the elderlys are feeling proud of their children. Manchester is a complete contrast to London though, everything feels more industrial and more working class. There are really nice areas in Manchester though, but altogether it doesn't fit like a glove, as does London. What i do love about Manchester though, is that there's a variety of areas and they are all easy to get to - that accessibility and cultural diversity is definitely appealing. People there are more friendly and talk more than down in London where everything seems to be a rushed hello, goodbye and aggression.

One of the strangest things i did see yesterday was the actual graduation process - as soon as i walked into that hall, i felt i was walking into the tudor times - the flowing and colourful gowns and the slow march of the teachers up to the stand with their silver staffs was an odd sight and perculiar to see some English heritage in front of me. England seems to be a mishmash of various cultures so it was nice to see the actual english heritage floating in front of me. However it felt really cold and formal, much like everything involved with professionalism in this country - there didn't seem to be a really joyous feel to it, it just felt aloof. That went away when hearing the arab women olooing, and random people shouting out to the graduates coming up on stage.

After all that we went and got our pictures done which was pretty uneventful but made me realise i had to get rid of my ridiculous sideburns because they were just long for no good reason :P. Food was very nice though - some of the best apnaa (pakistani) food i've had in a restaurant. It was so good i had to have 2 plate fulls of it. It was like eating food at home - it was just quality.

Speaking of good food, me and tarik went down to this chinese restaurant in Kenton when looking for the one CZ works at, which had wicked service (the waiter took tarik's coat off and started to put it on him!) and wicked food for cheap prices. That was really nice - just sitting down at a random place and eating food and enjoying the atmosphere. Im definitely going to go there again.

But now it comes to the meat of this post. Whenever i have something to talk about or ramble on, i usually try and do it and title it with the name of a song which fits snuggly with the mood i was in yesterday and a little today. As we were going home on the 4 hour drive back, i just started to think about things (maybe i think too much who knows). I just started to get angry at how i've acted like an agony aunt to lots of people but only a few of those people have ever really try to reciprocate a friendship. I was thinking about CZ, and i realised i've been there for her for time, but after her antics atm, it just feels like why have i bothered. Most of those times even though i had felt something for her, i still helped out because she was my mate and i didn't want to see her down. Nowadays it feels like im trying to spark a friendship at the very least which was one way. I mean think about it - has she ever called to say hello? she says im a top friend but she hasn't even done that much. i just find it bizarre and frustrating, which got sparked up on monday when i found out she was calling other mates. Fair enough they've known each other for long, but i just feel like im a vague memory who was there for a while....right now it just feels like fuck it, why am i trying for a person who hasn't really tried at all?

sigh, anyways, apart from that occupying my mind, i've been having a really good summer. i can't remember a summer that's actually been this good - the freedom and randomness of just going out and doing things instead of sitting at home. there's only been a few days where i've sat all day and did nothing! so it's good to finally unwind from academic stress.

i hope everyone else is having a good summer too, god bless and my thoughts are with nostalgic memories of lots of people :).

peace out.