Meditations: A Love Supreme

It's time, that limiting factor that betrays innocence. The hands of the clock incessantly turn, mercilessly stealing youth. But is that a bad thing? A life is not how much time you have, but what you do with it in the time you have. It's kind of strange....wandering in circles. Everytime there's a light, a darkness surpresses it. A yin to a yang. Waiting for it to happen doesn't help, so i want to do something about it. It's scary trying to adapt or modify yourself to what's around you.

As i sit here now, at this late hour, i realise this type of depression is ultimately brought on by your own inability to act. However, is it really fair to comment like that? afterall how easy is it really to drop your incredulous inhibitions when you've become dependent on them as they make up your perception. It's a strange thing indeed.

So, what about music? I've picked up the guitar more frequently these days. It's helping me to relax, it's flowing alot more these days then it ever did; whether that's the cause of musical apparitions at college or just general neurotiscism creeping into my mind im not sure, but i do like it. It gives me an added feeling of good will. It makes it more comforting when conversation fails. Speaking of conversation, where does that go? i have high expectations when i have conversation, therefore i can't make idle chitchat too often. Im trying to joke around, but it doesn't work much because i don't possess ze funny bone. Nevermind though, there's always other ways to get around, and im sure i will find them; it's only a matter of time.

As i was thinking today, Satori came back into my head. He's coming along alot more smoothly now. Oh yeah i've not mentioned who he is. Well he's an incarnation of my thoughts and experiences, which i will probably mold into a character for some sort of novel or story. His name stands for awakening, and an awakening he'll have, especially with the demon in him, that the reader may not be able to initially understand fully as it's unconsciously there. Perhaps i'll make it a blackout moment, like Grimmer's Magnificent Steiner in the animé monster. However, i really love the idea of the Kyuubi in Naruto and the violent red chakra it gives off so i think i might have this character do something like that if possible. He is stoically at zen yet troubled by social practices and morality. Politics may come into the fray, especially with the noir/hardboiled contrasted with a colourful look is what i have going with this. My main interest is to converge different cultures, so maybe indian jazz fusion mixed in with a noir hardboiled look with a protagonist (or antagonist? hehe) who is stoic yet troubled in a setting that is like 1930s chicago but mixed with colour, that kind of colour that makes you think of the cobalt blue skies, juxtaposed with the irregular but beautifully distinct white clouds in the sky....the kind of sky that makes you lose yourself in thought. The best idea of what im trying to convey is in The Animatrix, with Detective story and Beyond's look sort of fused together. Maybe even with Kid's story's rough sketchy look could make an entrance in mind. Though it's a novel, i want to paint a picture and then represent that to you in words. It'll be an interesting task, and i hope you will enjoy the end product, whoever is reading this. A musical instrument or style is appropiate at this moment. I like the idea behind Pulp Fiction - it takes all these elements and fuses them to make an interesting take on various pop cultures. That's the kind of effect im looking for. In essence it really is like mixing the esoteric japanese animé idioms with chinese philosophy in a noir setting. So what about Satori's appearance? well i was hoping for a trench coat, it seems like it might be a long coat, but i don't mind a shorter one....the idea i have for the look is danté from devil may cry mixed with colonel mustang from full metal alchemist. He should alot of scars, internal and external. This is sort of a memoir for me to remember this character, because i really do want to make something out this creation. It's a love of writing becoming supreme in a way hehe.

The MSN name i currently have: "The notions of a madman are looked upon with disdain. His existence society rues" is one line i have for the novel. Another line is "Time tumbles away like autumn leaves, the leaves changing over seasons until the fall".

With that i think this post should be ended, as it's really late and i should get up tommorow. i've got alot of work to do. UKCAT practice, homeworks and a pint of disicipline in between. For now though folks, cheerio and have a good weekend.

peace out.