Red Clay

What is the subconscious? is it part of that innate knowledge that epistemiological rationalists talk about, or is the mysterious part of human nature that affects our actions as Freud said? It's strange, some philosophers describe having innate knowledge of everything, but not remembering it at birth. Personally, these philosophers are the forerunners in establishing the idea of a subconscious. Like the shadow under a tree where small beams of sunlight pass through, the subconscious comes into action in our conscious thought, but it leaves like it's kayser soza :P. As i walked down a road today, i just thought to myself that maybe my abilities are stuck in my subconscious. How to get them out? that's a whole different ball game. I'm not sure if you could ever bring those kinda things out. Sure you can bring up random thoughts and ideas, but to surface an ability? i'm not sure.... . They say that humans use less than 20% of the brain consciously; so i reckon it's stuck there.

Although i might not be able to extract out any abilties in there, i can sure address certain issues that are there, which i'm grateful for. Well it all started last week, where somebody said to me "have respect for yourself". At the time, having someone tell me that conflicted with my ego, and it still does; to not be able to figure it out yourself and instead having to be told what to do. It's how i've lived my life, and to be frank, i don't want to live that kind of life anymore. Taking orders from people, telling me how to do something - for once i just want to control what i do, without being petrified about the social circumstances. Although this conflict lingers on, i still know that it's good advice and so i've decided to take it on. Just like clay can be used to build, i guess im using respect to build myself up - reinventing myself. Not in the same way as you would think if you had an identity crisis where you try and build a personality which acts more like a facade than anything renewed or changed. I'm talking about using respect for yourself to rediscover yourself, life and everything else in between. It's damn good advice if anything. Usually, whenever i try to change myself, i focus on others around me and because of it, no-one can really believe i'm trying to change myself since they are too used to me being one persona. With that, my ambition dies over time, just like any inspiration does. Just like K'naan says "Time is a sword, cutting the ambition cord, we struggle each day but we carry on marching foward".

With that, im gonna end this one.

Peace out.